other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
