jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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