I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
