btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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