i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
