I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize