She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
