Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
