just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
