I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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