Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
