Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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