I looked at my own cervix.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
