He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize