why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
