apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
