Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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