he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize