white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
