I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
