who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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