New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
