mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
zippers are such a cool invention
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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