I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
