is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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