2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
