Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize