All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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