I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My life is pants optional.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
