I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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