Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
