Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
