Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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