I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
