you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize