She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
