You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
