I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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