guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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