I should be sponsored by Trojan
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
