First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
