just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
