yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
