i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
