i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
