My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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