Where did you get a picture of my penis
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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