I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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