I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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