No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
