how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
