I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
