The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
