I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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