I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
