After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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