I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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