the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize